Review: Legion of the dead chosen by Rudi

Starring: Matthias Hues, Michael Carr, Russell Friedberg, Kimberly Liebe

Director: Olaf Ittenbach

Year: Too recently

Tagline(s): Satan’s Army Walks the Earth

Suggested replacement tagline: Not even Herman can save this total toss.

Theme: Retards, Hair extensions, Germans.

Plot synopsis:

Vacationing in the California desert, William and Luke thought they had set out for a relaxing time. Kidnapped on their first night by a notorious serial-killer they soon realise that relaxing is the last thing they're going to do on this trip. Escaping from their hijacker, the guys take a wrong-turn into a small town where some shadowy figures are plotting to murder the whole population and turn them into The Legion of the Dead. William and Luke become involved in a battle to save the townsfolk and stop the evil, but how is a pretty waitress linked to the Legion? And can they be stopped at all?.

Ants balanced view:

‘So where is the plot?’ you may ask after watching this film, I am afraid it was thrown away during pre production, classed as ‘a bad idea’ by stupendous director Olaf Ittenbach. A film that could have been so good, if it was completely remade. Matthias does little to improve this utter mess of a film, and boy it is really a mess. A horrible collision of humour, gore and ultra style battered together to make a foetus that was never supposed to exist.

Rudi’s Ramblings:

Imagine you woke up one day and discovered that every day for the last five years you’d been making love to a baboon. Imagine how bad you’d feel. That feeling would only be approximately one tenth of how bad you’d feel if you watched this film. As Ant mentioned this film has no plot. What it does have though is a script written by a schizophrenic who’s most dominant personality thinks it’s Quentin Tarantino’s less talented college roommate. There are elements of comedy in the screenplay, well I say elements of comedy what I actually mean is very badly conceived attempts at humour translated to the screen by the worst ensemble cast of actors that could be assembled.
The most shocking thing of all was that the makers of this drivel saw fit to dub poor Mathias Hues! If he’d been allowed to express himself in his usual way and been given another hour of screen time this film may just about have been passable as an advert for hair extensions.

Overall percentage: 7%