REVIEW: Undefeatable

Starring: Cynthia “Suck Cock” Rothrock, Don “Lovejoy” Niam, John Miller II, Donna Jason

Director: Godfrey Hall II

Year: 1993

Tagline(s): Out of the ring, into the fire…in a fight to the finish

Suggested replacement tagline: Martial arts serial killer, rapists have never had it so good (until the end of the film when he gets hooked up by his eye socket)

Plot synopsis:

After the murder of her sister by a serial killer whose calling card is an unusual martial arts technique known as "The Chinese Dragon Claw," Kristi Jones (Rothrock) embarks on the murderer's trail with the help of a street-smart detective and her own martial arts expertise.

Theme: Martial arts serial killer rapists

This was the first time we were exposed to the awesome talent that is Cynthia Rothrock. The film boasts a plot revolving around a Martial Arts Serial Killer Rapist (Called Stingray or Paul to his friends) who looks quite a lot like Ian McShane after several lines of cocaine. He’s a pretty unpleasant nutter it has to be said. His killing spree begins after his wife Anna leaves him, understandably seeing as he rapes her and keeps calling her mother. Of course he also happens to be a prize fighter with martial arts training in Chinese Dragon Claw.
Kristi (Cynthia Rothrock) is a street fighter with a rather pathetic gang of oriental blokes. She earns money from street fights to put her sister through college. We aren’t too sure why she gets paid for the fights as there does not seem to be anything in it for the promoter type guys as no gambling takes place.
Stingray picks his victims by whether they look like Anna or not. These are brown haired ladies wearing floral dresses, luckily for the plot Kristi’s sister matches this description. Stingray duly rapes and kills her in his usual style which includes pulling out her eyeballs with his fingers. Kristi sets about trying to find her sister’s killer eventually teaming up with a “tough” cop. It all pans out pretty predictably from there on. What makes this film watchable in any small way is the performance of Don Niam as Stingray (wrongly credited as the cop on the back of the box). He is sublimely mental. The type of character that is fun to watch but which you care nothing for when he finally gets his rather deserved comeuppance. The film suggests that his insanity is caused by emotional abuse as a child but one theory that has come to our attention is that it is caused by Mullet induced dementia.

Overall percentage (not an average): 55%

(Above): Here he his Don Niam, playing the lunatic Stingray.

(Above): What a bloody loon. Would you buy antiques from this man?

(Above): My advice to Stingray, cut down on the steroid/coccaine cocktails and get a hair cut.

(Above): In this image he is raping his wife, what a dirt bastard nutter.

(Above): Good riddance, he is dead. Cynthia looks on wishing that she got him into bed, atleast once.